Some Basic Remarks on Unconscious Communication

Unconscious communication is similar to chess. On one level the concept is simple. But in terms of developing your skills, you can spend the rest of your life working on getting better.

Unconscious communication happens in every interaction between people. And there are multiple levels of it. It happens simultaneously in numerous ways. The words someone chooses to say certainly seem like conscious communication. But the choice of words, tone of voice, emotion, facial expressions, gestures, body language, unspoken implications of what is said, and all sorts of vague forms of energy that the person is sending accompany the words and add multiple messages and dimensions of meaning.

Since everyone is sending unconscious communication simultaneously to each other when they interact, it helps to be good at sending it and good at receiving it. Unfortunately, the very fact that these are unconscious processes makes it difficult to be aware of what you are doing in the first place so you can figure out what to change or improve upon in yourself.

To complicate matters further, in receiving someone else’s unconscious communication you might be able to successfully and correctly identify some of that. But certainly not all of it.

To improve your own unconscious communication (arguably an important component of emotional intelligence), you have to do whatever it takes to learn more about the contents of your unconscious. This is possible to varying degrees. But difficult. You usually need the help of other people and special techniques to be able to see what is in your unconscious. And it is my opinion that it is impossible to ever see all of it. If for no other reason than what is in your unconscious keeps accumulating and changing just as conscious personality does.

Knowing the contents of your own unconscious helps you to separate your unconscious communication from your interpretations of the unconscious communication you receive from others. Also, work on learning to be more aware of the subtle behavioral cues that you receive from others and send yourself. Improving your skills at unconscious communication is fun. And it will enrich your relationships and understanding of yourself.