DR. TORPOR'S BLOG

A Dimension of Well-Being

March 31, 2021

One dimension of psychological well-being is autonomy.  This means a type of independence and self-determination where you are not manipulated by the social pressures of conformity.  This means an ability to think for yourself and do things that are right for you, not all the “shoulds” and “oughts” that we are told to do.  For example, someone high in autonomy is able to resist the social pressure to have a new or “nice” car.  Instead, they might have an old car that meets their transportation needs in order to make money available for the things that are most important to them.  With high autonomy one is their own source of values that guide their actions instead of external forces.  Your own personal standards are your compass.

With low autonomy one is motivated by the fear of what others will think.  Consequently, one automatically seeks to follow the “rules” that are most prevalent, whether or not they fit oneself.  A fear of being judged negatively by others is a strong motivator with low autonomy.  This results in thinking and behaving in ways that are dictated by current social pressures.  For example, if one watches a lot of television they may come to believe one needs to have a certain type of physical attractiveness to have worth as a person.  Not only may they pursue changing their appearance but also feel ashamed or embarrassed by their own natural looks.

 

The Curse of the Green Thumb

March 29, 2021

Although originating as a side-effect of the coronavirus sheltering-in-place, the recently renewed interest in potted plants is likely to continue.

What Does Mentalizing Mean?

March 16, 2021

Mentalizing is a skill with two parts.  One part is the ability to see yourself from the outside.  This means accurately recognizing how others may see you in an interaction.  The other part is the capacity to see others from the inside.  This means to have a good sense of why someone is acting the way they do in an interaction.  For example, if you are able to accurately figure out that a person may be feeling defensive for whatever reason, then you are in a much better position to help the discussion move in a positive direction with good feelings.  Developing a strong mentalizing skill is a life long project.  We have to be willing to recognize when we are wrong and learn from our mistakes.   Just like a sport, it takes a lot of deliberate work to get good at mentalizing.

Dr. Torpor on the Docket in Virtual Court

March 5, 2021

Whenever I go to court something weird happens.

Being Present for Someone

February 22, 2021

While talking with another person, if you can have
– compassion
– allowing
– spaciousness
– openness
– acceptance
– patience
– gentleness
You will be creating an environment where both you and the other person can relax, feel valued, and be truly as you are in that moment.

Torpor Torpem’s Infinite Top 40 with Tarot Reading About Competition

January 31, 2021

An Uninterpreted Dream

January 29, 2021

“A dream which is not explained is like a letter which has not been read.” The Talmud

Are Tarot Readings Accurate?

January 22, 2021

They can be. The more open you are with me the more helpful I can be. Some querents prefer a “cold” reading. Meaning they prefer to provide no information or feedback at all. I don’t mind this. It’s a fun challenge. And I enjoy doing the best I can with whatever unconscious information I am able to pick up. It’s always a pleasure when the querent finds my reading accurate under these circumstances.

What Does the Fool Card Mean in the Tarot?

January 10, 2021

When I first began studying the tarot, I was often troubled by how The Fool was defined. I found myself feeling offended by the meanings frequently given to that card. They seemed to equate naïvete and innocence with foolishness. There was also the implication that these states of childlike wonder were inherently dangerous. This is conveyed by The Fool being ready to step off a cliff. The idea that this is the starting point of a journey felt harsh to me.

I was relieved when I found that some tarot historians believe The Fool is actually the endpoint of the journey. The Fool is a wise person, an enlightened person who because of their wisdom may seem crazy to others. The Fool is courageous and unphased by danger and their own human frailty. The Fool occupies a realm where compassion is all. With their hard-earned wisdom, The Fool is a powerful force. If The Fool is on your side you are fortunate.

Questionable Recipe

January 3, 2021

While shifting about through different astral trains, I notice a recipe for “fudgy with prunes.” This disturbed me.